Ah yes, the ancient “Rah Rah Ree, Kick ‘Em in the Knee, Rah Rah Rass, Kick ‘Em in the Throat” maneuver. Once only used on the defensive end by old warriors like Bruce Bowen, when done correctly, this can also be a devastatingly effective offensive strategy. Lucky for Tim Duncan, he has that metal endoskeleton, otherwise we could have had another Bill Cartwright scenario on our ears.
Well, he’s had a cartoon Amir Johnson face that looks like Andre 3000 put on his shoes and now his jacket. The next logical step is a pair of pants, but after that anything is fair game. Socks, underpants, an ascot, a tattoo of his cartoon face on his actual face — the sky is the limit. When you’ve got a smile that charming, you might as well put it on everything.
It’s OK, Raptor fans. Paying Landry Fields $6.25 million a year is fine because it means the Knicks won’t be able to afford signing Steve Nash, which greases the tracks for his eventual signing in Toronto. Playing the way he has thus far isn’t worth a tenth of what he’s owed, but it’s worth it to have a Hall of Fame point guard in the lineup.