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What is Chris Paul drawing?

chris-paul-signing-contract

That right there is a picture of Chris Paul signing his big, new contract with the Los Angeles Clippers. Neato.

But what it also is is an opportunity, a Photoshop opportunity. Because when I see that giant white piece of paper with a Chris Paul pen on top of it, it just feels natural to want to put something on it. Which is why I’m asking everyone to help figure out what exactly Chris Paul is drawing with his son.

My suggestion:

chris-paul-drawing-chris-paul

It’s Chris Paul drawing a picture of Chris Paul signing his contract which continues on forever. It’s very MCP3 Escher, and I’m pretty sure you could sell this in an auction house for anywhere from $5 to $7, depending on if you found the right investor or not.

This is the idea though — take that original Chris Paul picture, throw something silly on his paper and put it in the comments. Eventually, we’ll get to the bottom of this drawing mystery.

You hate to see this sort of thing happen in a rookie’s debut. That fog machine was all ready to make a great first impression on the league after a solid career down in the amateur ranks — mostly haunted houses, but also some high school theater here and there — but then went and completely embarrassed itself in its first professional game. Tragic. At least the fans got some “P.Y.T.” out of it.

(via SLAM)

There are few things non-JaVale McGee related in the NBA that are funnier than a guy who doesn’t usually wear a headband deciding to wear a headband. It’s been years since Derek Fisher wore an earmuff-styled band, but we still have laughs about it. However, when a whole team sports the terrycloth in honor of a retiring franchise legend, that is pretty great stuff.

That’s exactly what happened in Detroit last night, where the majority of the Pistons reached for headbands to commemorate Ben Wallace’s last game in the NBA. (The Timberwolves did the same thing for Brad Miller, but there are fewer pictures and Brad was pretty headband ambivalent there for awhile, so let’s let the Pistons have their season in the sun. Kevin Love and Ricky Rubio killed it though. Great job, guys. Beautiful smiles.) As expected, a bunch of guys looked hilarious, Jonas Jerebko chief among them, but it’s the kind of small thing that makes the NBA awesome.

After the jump, have a look at some of the Pistons in their finest headbands.

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NBA players, heed this warning — If you go to a baseball game, you will probably get booed.

It happened to Dwyane Wade, who callously sold out his hometown White Sox by wearing a Yankees hat. And it happened to Chris Paul, who was heckled at a Dodgers game when he was put on the big screen. From the AP:

Paul took his 2-year-old son to a Dodgers game on Sunday. They were both wearing Dodgers caps and his son waved at the crowd. ”They booed me bad,” he said. ”I was just happy that my son didn’t know what was going on.”

Just when you thought it had been proven time and time again that Los Angeles was all dispassionate sports fans, they go and boo a 2-year-old and his pops because the trade to send his dad to their favorite team was rescinded and he ended up on the city’s less popular basketball team. For a fan base that is notoriously late for everything, at least they care enough to razz a dad who’s just trying to show his son the national pastime.

Lucky for them, child ears cannot comprehend the complexities of the English language. Otherwise, this is a pretty low move, albeit one that helps to solidify Lakers-Clippers as a legitimate rivalry. Which is to say, I’m all for it. If booing a child is what it takes to make these already testy games even testier, then so be it. Sometimes you have to boo some children to make an omelet, as the saying goes.

Last night, Dirk Nowitzki went for 33 points in 31 minutes in the Mavericks’ game against the Nuggets. Unfortunately for everyone’s favorite rookie, Kenneth Faried was the main recipient of those points as Dirk knocked down fadeaway after fadeaway after fadeaway over the super athletic Predator clone. It had to be the most frustrating thing ever, which is probably why Faried eventually just accepted his fate and laughed things off after yet another crazy Dirkus Circus shot.

After the game, Faried let everyone know just how pointless guarding an on-fire Dirk can be. From the AP:

“That 1-foot fadeaway, nobody in the league can hit that and he makes it look so easy,” Faried said. “You think you play great D, you contest the shot and he looks at you like, `That’s going to go in every time.’ As a rookie, wow.”

Sounds about right. You don’t see many nearly unblockable fadeaways from 7-footers when you’re playing college ball, especially not when you’re at a small school like Morehead State. Some of Dirk’s best fadeaways are mind-melting just to watch from home, but having to guard shots like this has to be so infuriating. What are you supposed to do? I know Inspector Gadget extend-o-arms is the logical solution, but not everyone can afford those.

Jeremy Lin is the best basketball player in the universe — Grokmel, a six-armed slashing forward from the Cremlogue II universe directly adjacent to ours is said to be the best player alive today — and he sleeps on a couch. These two things have been true since the dawn of #Linsanity #SILinsansity and will continue to be true until the end of time, lest he lose his special basketball powers. He’d never move to his own house because professional athletes are very superstitious and he wouldn’t want to jinx it.

Right? From the New York Daily News:

Jeremy Lin is moving on up … to Westchester County.

The Knicks phenom, who in the span of six games has gone from benchwarmer to the cover of Sports Illustrated, has sublet a two-bedroom apartment from former Knick David Lee in a swanky Trump Tower, sources told the Daily News. [...]

The Trump Tower in downtown White Plains, a 35-story building right off Main St. that’s home to several other Knicks players and some New York Rangers as well. It’s the same two-bedroom apartment that another Knicks star, Amar’e Stoudemire, rented before he moved into his palatial pad in Manhattan, sources said.

Are you kidding me? This can’t be happening. I don’t want to believe this is true. This changes everything.

I mean, why? Why would he do this? After all that couch has done for him, he’s just going to abandon it for a beautiful condo with 9-foot ceilings that is within walking distance of a Buffalo Wild Wings? I know they have 16 different sauces (and four dry rub flavors), but that just seems like a slap in the overstuffed arms of the couch that made him what he is today. The kouch karma gods will not look kindly on this.

Sure, he’ll probably sleep better which will means he’ll be more well-rested for the games which means he’ll probably play better, but still. Hasn’t he seen “Like Mike?” Doesn’t he know that it’s possible to lose the powers that an inaminmate object has given you and that you’ll have to resort to trickery to be successful? And that that craftiness only works for the last play of an important game?

Furthermore, doesn’t he know that in most movies, it’s when the hero starts doing uncharacteristic stuff — like, I don’t know, finding their own place to live instead of living with their brother — that things start to turn bad? I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Chris Bosh on the radio this week:

“I want to win so all I think about is basketball, basketball, and basketball and I just want to do whatever I can to make sure we take the right steps into winning.”

Chris Bosh in 2010:

“I’m trying to explore different avenues,” Bosh said. “There is so much available to me now and I’m just trying to see what’s out there, really. There’s nothing really complicated about it. This all happened at a certain time and I’m trying to be more social with different guys in different cities.” [...]

“For me it’s finding out what I like right now,” he said. “I want my brand to be genuine and to let people know that I’m conscious and aware of it. I think sometimes guys try to do the whole global-branding thing and they really don’t understand it. I do understand it, and I try to be conscious of it and work on it in every city that I’m in. I don’t go around talking about it too much. I just represent it and let it come to me. It’s like a nickname. You can’t give yourself a nickname. You let the nickname come to you.” [...]

“I didn’t really do this for the attention,” Bosh said of his signing with the Heat. “I did this because I wanted to play championship-caliber basketball with the best guys out there, and just to have this opportunity and this kind of hype machine behind us. It’s spectacular. Those are the things you dream about when you’re a little kid. Playing basketball, you want to be Jordan, Pippen and those guys. You want to be the show, and now we’re the show. We have the chance to live that dream now, and I’m just living it up.”

Either Chris Bosh got super focused, super boring or isn’t being entirely truthful about his concerns. Your call.