Look there at the bottom — one man, two children, one basketball game, one sideline, one baseline, one set of stairs, NO WAITING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM (except for the ball to be inbounded).
Archive for the ‘Utah Jazz’ Category
Posted by Trey Kerby under Score Video, Utah Jazz on Apr 04, 2013
Posted by Trey Kerby under Utah Jazz on Mar 21, 2013
You know how when a bunch of people from the same workplace have babies around the same time, someone inevitably says “There must be something in the water?” Well, there must be something in the water in Utah because this Jazz birth story is kind of incredible. From the Deseret News:
Thursday was quite the day for the Utah Jazz family.
Both Paul Millsap and Randy Foye welcomed babies into their worlds on the team’s off day.
The great excuse to miss practice wasn’t the only thing they shared.
Both Jazz players became proud papas of little girls. They now each have three children, all daughters.
And, get this, both have similar names.
Millsap’s daughter was named Paular.
Foye’s little girl was named Pilar.
And, no, they didn’t plan it that way.
“Same day, same name. It’s crazy,” Millsap said. “What a coincidence, really.”
“I’ve never heard of that before,” said Foye, adding that he and Millsap didn’t know their significant others were being induced on the same day until earlier this week. “I think that’s probably once in a lifetime.”
Whaaaaaaaat? This is a real Lincoln-Kennedy situation. I mean, two players on the same team having a kid on the same day is strange enough. But they also both had daughters and they also both already had two daughters and then they both gave them almost the exact same name — that’s just bananas. Next thing you’re going to tell me is that they once played in an NBA-sanctioned game together before ever becoming teammates or something crazy like that.
Posted by Trey Kerby under NBA Fashion, Utah Jazz on Mar 13, 2013
According to Al “Mr. Blackwell” Jefferson, the answer seems to be yes. From the Deseret News:
The free-spirited Turkish ballplayer showed up for Monday’s Jazz-Pistons contest wearing a fedora, sparkling gold jacket, jeans and snake shoes.
“He makes it look good,” teammate Al Jefferson told reporters. “It’s not like it don’t look good on him.”
Hey, I’m not going to argue with Al Jefferson. He’s got a giant bed, a mean looking face and some size on me, so if he says Enes Kanter looks good then I guess Enes Kanter looks good. I would have just thought he looked like a college sophomore going to a “Pimps and Ho’s” mixer at Sig Ep, but I guess we can trust Al Jefferson on this one. If you disagree, you be the one to tell him.
(image via @DJJazzyJody)
Posted by Trey Kerby under Utah Jazz, Whoops on Mar 07, 2013
Do you guys love hyperbole? Do you think it’s the greatest language concept in the history of spoken word? Are you trying to figure out a way to marry hyperbole because you can’t imagine living without it?
If so, you’ll love this quote from Mo Williams about that missed layup you see up there, the one that would have given the Jazz the lead with just a few seconds remaining. From the Deseret News:
Williams used words like “amazing” and “dumbfounded” to describe what could’ve been the shot of the night in his comeback game in front of the fans that he played for from 2008-11.
“I’ve never, ever saw anything like that. I don’t think I’ve ever missed a layup, even practicing,” he said. “I’ve shot a trillion layups in my life, but I’ve never missed one like that, the way it came in and went out.”
1,000,000,000,000 is a lot of layups, so I am just going to assume that Mo Williams is exaggerating for effect. Because otherwise, that means he’s taken 108,577,633 layups every day, assuming he hasn’t taken a day off since he turned five. I’m not going to math this out for you, but that is physically impossible, especially if you’re claiming you didn’t miss any. I have a feeling Mo Williams is being facetious.
And if you look at his reaction as the ball slowly rolls off the rim, he certainly looks like a guy who just missed the first layup of his life when it could have won his team a game while they’re in the middle of a playoff race. So mad. So stompy.
But umm … not the first time. I mean, he’s shooting 75 percent at the rim this year, which is awesome. But it’s not 100.
Getting a nickname in the NBA is a pretty big deal. For whatever reason, once a teammate bestows a nickname upon you, you’ve made it. You’re one of the guys.
And when it comes to guy-makers, the Utah Jazz’s Al Jefferson might be the league’s best. Just look at these gems, courtesy of a DeMarre Carrroll interview with ESPN:
Best nickname: “Enes Kanter. They call him Big Turkey. He’s from there, and Al [Jefferson] started calling him that because one day he was just eating turkey. Pretty much everyone on the team has got a nickname. Everyone calls me The Junkyard Dog.”
Funniest: “Al Jefferson. He’s just cracking jokes all the time, especially at Enes Kanter. He gave me the nickname Mophead because my hair is like a mop. He says, ‘Hey, Mophead, come here!’ It’s pretty funny.”
I think I understand Al Jefferson’s nomenclature — see something, come up with a nickname based on what you just saw. Pretty simple really. In fact, it’s actually very easy to create a set of nicknames for all the rest of the Jazz, so I did.
- Al Jefferson — Big Bed, because he has a big bed.
- Paul Millsap — Sappy, because it says “Millsap” on the back of his jersey.
- Randy Foye — Flipper, because all his internal organs are on the opposite sides of his body.
- Gordon Hayward — Boy, because he looks like a boy.
- Derrick Favors — Cool Hat, because he had that one cool hat.
- Marvin Williams — V, because he looks like the “V for Vendetta” mask when he smiles.
- Mo Williams — Peanut Head, because he has a tiny head.
- Alec Burks — Alex, because that’s what his name sounds like.
- Jamaal Tinsley — Stubbs, because he always has stubble.
- Earl Watson — Baby, because Jeremy Evans drew him as a baby once.
- Jeremy Evans — Stick, because he’s built like a stick.
- Kevin Murphy — Murph, because that’s what you call anyone who has the last name “Murphy.”
Super easy, you guys. Feel free to add yours in the comments below, for any NBA player. Go nuts. Just make sure Al Jefferson would approve.
Posted by Trey Kerby under Quickies, Utah Jazz on Jan 29, 2013
“We should have been booing ourselves.” — Al Jefferson, following the Jazz’s 45-point home loss to the Rockets
Remember when Carlos Boozer rented his house to Prince, then Prince painted it purple and put all kinds of Prince stuff in it and Boozer didn’t really appreciate it because Prince “likes to do the butt-cheek thing?” This is that in shirt form.
Who knew Jerry Sloan was such a wild and crazy guy?
UPDATE WITH HORSE HEAD