Archive for the ‘Whoops’ Category

I know that sounds like a hyper-specific Onion headline, but listen to this zinger from the 1:45 mark of Juicy J’s “Bounce It,” which features both Wale and Trey Songz (no relation):

Bald-headed scallywags, real n—-s salute me
Catch me at that Memphis game, seats saved by Rudy

We all know Wale and Rudy Gay are bros from back in the D.C. area. And we also all know that Rudy Gay is no longer on the Memphis Grizzlies, which means he probably doesn’t have the pull to save Wale seats at the Memphis game, which makes sense considering he didn’t have the pull to save himself a seat at the Memphis game.

But it’s all good though. As it turns out, Wale still has the hookup:

Or Marc Gasol, or Selby doe, that’s plenty dough

OK phew — Wale is still going to be able to sit courtside for the Grizzlies, thanks to his good friend Marc Gasol, who must be thrilled to finally end up in a rap song. At least that is settled, which is good since Josh Selby (another DMV guy like Wale and Rudy) is also not on the Grizzlies any more, as he was traded last season as well.

This is the danger of incessantly making sports references when you rap. Because sometimes, the person you’re rapping about gets traded because they can’t see straight enough to shoot, leaving you to brag about something that doesn’t make sense any more. And even if we go with the single release date (June 25) rather than the “Straight Trippy” album release date (this Tuesday), that’s still nearly five months after Rudy Gay was traded away from the Grizzlies, robbing him of his seat-saving abilities.

I guess if you’re going to rap about someone, make sure they have a no-trade clause.

I before E, except after C, or when getting a tattoo and putting it on Instagram for everyone to see.

(via Bleacher Report)

If you’re an OG internet basketball thug like myself, then you remember the ill-fated “Let Shannon Dunk” campaign and its subsequent botched dunk contest. And if you remember that and watch this clip, you’ll agree that Shannon Brown shouldn’t be left around another dunk contest — even if it is in Latvia, like this latest one was — for the rest of his playing days. Safety first.

(via BDL)

shaq-aristotle-quote

This is from the June issue of Reader’s Digest, which I think you can find in that wicker basket next to your grandma’s chair.

shaq-quote-correction

And this is from the August issue of Reader’s Digest, which your grandmother is reading right now.

Put those two things together and you’ve got a classic philosopher mix-up. Steve Aschburner of NBA.com explains:

In its June issue, a quote attributed to O’Neal (“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do”) ran next to a slick illustration of the big fella. It’s been out there, associated with O’Neal, for more than a dozen years. In fact, it was the source of the “Big Aristotle” moniker in the first place. “[That] was coined the day I won the MVP [in 2000],” O’Neal long ago explained. “I stole a quote from that Greek philosopher cat.”

Actually, O’Neal flipped around the phrases in Aristotle’s original deep thought, but hey, close enough.

The editors at the Digest never got the memo. But some readers did notice. Eventually, so did media watchdog Jim Romenesko, the proprietor of his eponymous and much-visited Web site. By that time at least, Reader’s Digest had come clean after learning of the confusion.

You know, just one of those accidental screw-ups where you take the famous words of one of history’s most well-known philosophers, then attribute them to a basketball player with a knack for quotes. It’s happened to all of us, like that time when Sports Illustrated ran that cover of JaVale McGee climbing to the top of a mountain accompanied by his quote, “I think therefore I am.” It’s an easy mistake to make.

Then again, if Shaq is going to be mistaken for for any of his various nickname identities, “The Big Aristotle” is probably the most flattering. Well, unless he can somehow get a real black belt out of being called “Shaq Fu.” A black belt trumps pretty much anything.

jimmy-butler-bad-shirt

Jimmy Butler wore an offensive t-shirt about a year ago — offensive for its contents, not just because it looks like something a tween would buy at Hot Topic and Jimmy Butler is 22 — but since he made pals with Miley Cyrus it started circulating again and now he’s had to apologize. Yes, this is what happens in the NBA in 2013.

The t-shirt apology, as per Butler’s Twitter feed:

In regards to the picture that is circulating… It was early last year and the shirt simply matched my shoes. In no way do I support the message written on the shirt. I sincerely apologize to any of my fans who may have been offended. Much love, JB.

Ah yes, the classic “my shirt matched my shoes” defense. Sure, it opens up questions like “If you don’t support the message on the shirt then why did you buy it?” and “As a grownup, why did you buy that shirt at all?” and “I thought you were a country music fan, but you’re wearing a bad rap shirt?,” but it’s still a solid defense, especially in this post-swag NBA world we’re living in. I mean, looking fly comes first in the NBA these days, so it shouldn’t be terribly surprising that a Lil’ Boosie hair-alike would shoutout a fellow Louisiana rapper.

Then again, there is an easier way to avoiding these sort of hijinks. And that would be to pick different shoes. Yeah, I know you’re thinking he should just have just not bought the shirt — because look at it — but since he already has it, if he skips over his “Pussy, Women & Weed” shoes every time he’s picking out an outfit, he won’t ever have to apologize for this again. It’s simple logic, but it makes sense. Unlike the thought process behind buying that shirt.

gilbert-arenas-fireworks

It has been a while since Gilbert Arenas was in the news. But then his name popped up on TMZ this morning, and that is always a good thing, so let’s check in on him.

Hey TMZ, what’s up with Gilbert Arenas?

Ex-NBA star Gilbert Arenas’ 4th of July is gonna suck — ’cause he got nailed by cops early this morning for illegal fireworks — A TON OF ILLEGAL FIREWORKS — as in a full truckload of ‘em … TMZ  has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us Arenas was pulled over by Califorrnia Highway Patrol around 2:30 AM in Los Angeles for speeding in a Ford pickup — but officers immediately saw that the truck was filled with fireworks … sitting in plain sight in the bed and cab of the truck.

We’re told Arenas was arrested and will be booked for possession of illegal fireworks, and cited for speeding — he was allegedly doing 80 mph — and driving without a license.

It’s unclear exactly how much fireworks were in the truck, but it was enough that LAPD bomb squad was called to handle the illegal booty.

Our camera guy counted around 20 boxes being unloaded … very carefully.

Let’s see here. July 4 is a huge fireworks day and July 4 is a week away — I think it’s pretty obvious that Gilbert Arenas was buying a ton of fireworks for his Fourth of July celebrations. That’s a crime as American as apple pie. (The speeding and driving without a license part are also very American, just not in a good way.)

And really, it being a crime is kind of a bummer for Gilberto Gil. I mean, if he lived where Chris Kaman lived, he could blow up all the fireworks he wanted and people would make a video of it for the internet. (He could do the same thing with guns, but please don’t tell Gilbert Arenas that part.) Obviously buying a ton of fireworks that you know are illegal and then speeding around in a truck without a license is stupid, but I’d be lying if I said I never drove to Indiana with my dad to do the same thing, sans the parts about the truck and license. The siren song of illegal fireworks is deafening for those of us living in states that prohibit anything besides Snap n’ Pops and those weird Python things. I’m not condoning it, I’m just saying I get it. I hope the California Highway Patrol at least puts on a little show with their seized sparklers.

This is what’s up with Gilbert Arenas.

Good to see the Bad Idea Jeans people are back in business. I mean, obviously this is a good idea blog-wise, but after a season where Metta World Peace became an amnesty candidate, maybe filming the travails of him and a washed up NFL receiver who can’t get a job and is essentially persona non grata among football people is not the wisest choice. I don’t know if that sends the right message, unless the message MWP is trying to send is, “Well at least I’m not Terrell Owens.” If that’s what he’s trying to go for — proving that he’s not the worst case scenario for an aging athlete notorious for making waves — then this is the perfect choice.

Update: Nope.