To be fair, trampoline dunking isn’t part of any basic training programs, since it’s a novelty basketball maneuver. They usually get to that in advanced individualized training, right after t-shirt cannon operation and crowd pump up-ing.
In fact, rumor has it that Hooper from the Pistons was nearly discharged due to lack of dunk skills. That’s supposed to be confidential information though, so you didn’t hear it from me.
Remember when Kevin Love broke his hand and it was sad because we all want to see the Timberwolves be good this year? And then, very soon after, we all found out he broke it doing knuckle push-ups, like he was training for a “Rocky” fight and it was kind of one of those #SMH kind of situations? So weird. Who does knuckle push-ups in 2012? Probably not even Sylvester Stallone.
But it really did happen that way, at least if you’re buying what Kevin Love is selling. And why wouldn’t you? It’s not like he has that dastardly mustache anymore, so he should be trustworthy. From the AP:
“I’ve heard everything,” Love said. “But this isn’t TMZ. This isn’t People Magazine. I think most people are just looking for a story. For me, I know what happened. I’m not trying to get around it. I’m not trying to lie. That’s just what happened.”
Love spoke publicly Wednesday for the first time since his injury, which he described as “pretty much a freak accident” during a pre-practice workout with his personal trainer at his home on Oct. 17. He said he felt the swelling immediately, tried to perform another weight-bearing exercise and then rushed to see the team’s athletic trainer before being sent to the hospital for X-rays that revealed two broken bones.
“I do different series of push-ups all the time. My hand just gave on me,” Love said, “and it just broke.”
The suggestion was made to Love that if he was seriously trying to cover up some bad or embarrassing behavior he would’ve created a more believable tale.
“I would have done some crazy story, the way my mind works. But I can’t even think of anything better right now,” Love said, wearing a white cast on his arm with a freshly shaved head that’s part of a breast cancer fundraiser with NFL star Larry Fitzgerald.
He makes a good point — if you were making up a story about why you broke your hand, why would you pick “doing knuckle push-ups” as your cover? Unless you are an action star from the 1980s, people are going to laugh. At this point, it’s just cool jocks in high school and Jean-Claude Van Damme who still do knuckle push-ups. Kevin Love is right. It makes for a terribly embarrassing cover-up.
But on the other broken hand, why is Kevin Love doing knuckle push-ups? I guess they theoretically build more strength in your wrists and chest than regular push-ups, but I’m also guessing that Kevin Love is doing a whole bunch of other stuff to build that strength. Not to mention, it seems like he’s got the strength game on lockdown anyways. They just seem kind of unnecessary when your hands are your livelihood.
Then again, doing knuckle push-ups is a pretty tough guy thing to do. Between that, the shaved head and the rebounding, he might just be the next Dennis Rodman. At least when it comes to bad action movies.
Where were you the night Amar’e Stoudemire destroyed his hand slapping the casing around a fire extinguisher? It was an important moment in all of our lives, so you should. So where? Where were you? (Personally, I have no idea where I was, but I’m guessing on the couch.)
Nonetheless, it happened, and we finally have an explanation for what really went down. From a Fox Sports Radio interview with Amar’e Stoudemire, as transcribed by Sports Radio Interviews:
“It wasn’t a punch at all actually. It was more like a slap against the wall, but I caught the edge of the fire extinguisher. Some people think I balled my fist up and punched through a glass fire extinguisher, which is totally opposite of the truth. It was more like a smack against the wall, kind of a backhand or a reach back slap across the wall and caught the edge of the fire extinguisher. I think a lot of people confused my passion with frustration. I’m such a passionate player. I want to win so bad to where sometimes I want to win, so I bring my passion and it gets confused with frustration.”
Important clarification in there — it wasn’t a punch, but a slap. But also not really a slap, but a smack. Except not a smack, but more of a “backhand or a reach back slap across the wall,” which is probably something like this:
I don’t know what to say, you guys. Kris Humphries did something silly again. From TMZ:
Kris Humphries’ lawyer engineered a sneak attack by trying to serve a subpoena on Kanye West by putting it in a Nordstrom box and sending it to Kim Kardashian’s house.
Cool sneak attack, Kris Humphries. Super covert. Only thing better would have been wrapping the subpoena in a Givenchy sweatshirt and a pair of leather pants. Very smooth, Rob Thomas.
Also this:
[Kim Kardashian's lawyer Laura] Wasser said she’s heard the reports that Kris and his lawyers want to put reality TV on trial, and there seems to be evidence to back that up. Wasser noted that Kris has served Kris Jenner with a subpoena and NBC Universal and Bunim/Murray, which produces the Kardashian reality shows.
Hey, just so everyone knows, Kris Humphries is putting reality television on trial. To repeat he is PUTTING REALITY TV ON TRIAL. He might not be the hero our generation wants, but he’s the hero our generation deserves. You want the reality TV? You can’t handle the reality TV. Kris Humphries ordered the reality TV code red and he’d do it again if he had to.
Just chill, Kris Humphries. You are making $12 million to play basketball this year, you zinged Kanye West on Twitter and everyone thought it was great, and you don’t have to be on Kim Kardashian’s show any more. Realize you were a pawn in a reality TV show and move on. It’s not like you didn’t benefit greatly from it, aside from becoming the NBA’s most disliked player, which sucks but is not that big of a deal. People will forget about that Kim Kardashian stuff eventually. You’re rich, you’re young, you’re playing basketball in New York, people know who you are — things are good, man. Sure, you fell in love with a girl who just wanted to get married to an athlete for TV ratings, but whatever. That kind of thing could happen to any of us. There’s no need to put reality TV on trial because that is not a real thing and “Survivor” is a great show. Just relax.
You know, I think Carmelo Anthony put it best.
“Uhhhhhh …. what?” — all of us when we saw this happen, Team USA included
Sure, Team USA squeaked by Nigeria with an 83-point victory filled with so many three-pointers that it wouldn’t surprise me if scorekeepers actually couldn’t keep track of how many they made and just decided on “I don’t know … 29?” at the end of the game. But that doesn’t mean everything went 100 percent according to plan. In fact, I’ve found two very glaring mistakes that need to be addressed if the United States hopes to medal in men’s Olympic basketball.
The first, as you can see, is quite obvious to the naked eye — James Harden got his ankles broken and a three-pointer in his face by Nigerian point guard Tony Skinn. I’m guessing his teammates will probably have something to say about this.
The second mistake is a lot more subtle. See if you can pick it up.
There are quite a few ways to not get Kevin Durant’s autograph — lose your pen at the wrong time, never ask him for one, interrupt him when he’s giving his mom a kiss and cetera — but this might be the most audacious. Hoping he’ll catch your shoes, sign them and then throw them back is expecting quite a bit, which is probably why Durant looks so confused and can’t think of anything better to do than slide the shoes along with his feet when it actually happens. Might as well have just asked him to autograph a carcass.
(via That NBA Lottery Pick)
